Mother Truths

_{by Mary Ulrich}

by Mary O’Brien

Being a dutiful mother, ^{There are parents who} I searched for cures with the best of them. ^{have made awful decisions for their kids} _{Some of those cures included:} — sending them away to live in institu­

_{• visits with the guru in the popular} tions, for instance. I have been getting

book Spontaneous Healing; (We discontin-^{to know some of them. We disagree on} ued the treatments with vibrators in strange ^{many things but I have found one single} forms when Aaron, our son, developed high ^{principle we hold in common.}

_{fevers and his head swelled.)} We believe in accountability.

• white ping pong balls kept over his ^{Not all parents of people with dis­}navel while he slept; (In theory, this pro-^{abilities believe in freedom, self-deter­}vided more oxygen to the brain. The balls ^{mination, dignity or respect.} had to be white. Discontinued when Aaron ^{Not all believe in inclusive educa­}_{refused to sleep with the bump.)} tion. We don’t all believe that people

• sensory integration therapy where he must be allowed to live in the most inte­was swung in a net until his eyes started to ^{grated setting. We don’t all agree that} _{jerk back and forth;} sheltered workshops are sweatshops.

• more than 100 vitamins a day at a cost ^{Not all agree that} of $150, recommended after a hair analysis. ^{group homes are insti­}(Discontinued. Aaron spit them up.) ^{tutions. But we do}

agree that people who

Anne Donnellan says that the more ^{make their money off} theories there are, the more we can be sure ^{our kids’ backs must} that we don’t know very much. Autism has ^{be held accountable.} more theories than most. ^{We all agree that}

Looking back, I would probably do the ^{case managers are like} same things. It was through searching for monkeys with hand “Best Practice” and alternatives that I heard ^{grenades. They know} about inclusion, self-determination, and ^{enough to do real} Facilitated Communication, all of which ^{damage, but not} have been life-changing for Aaron and our ^{enough to care. If they} family. Another thing that helped was the ^{don’t have the train-}quote from Robert Schuller: “Look at what ing and the compas­you have, not at what you have lost.” The ^{sion, they can’t help.} child I have is a pretty wonderful guy. ^{They must be held ac-}

I don’t actively search for a cure any-^countable. more. But I do keep looking for ways to make ^{We agree that all} Aaron’s life more active, more connected to ^{the people who touch} others, more valued in his community. I a child’s life and all want others to see his gifts. ^{those who supervise}

Helen Keller wrote, “The best and most ^{direct staff must be} beautiful things in the world cannot be seen ^{accountable for their} or even touched. They must be felt with the ^{actions — and their} heart.” Aaron touches our hearts every day. ^{inaction as well.}

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