was that crappy laundromat up on Park
Ave. In there one night late, puttin' in my wash, put
in my money and it don't run and won't give my money
know how it goes. You got your detergent in already
and you gotta lift out your clothes, and the powder
gets all over. So I did that deal and got a different
machine. Meeng-gia! [an Italian profanity]
Same story. And all the money I had was that dollar
fifty right there, I was livin' on SSI at the time.
And there wasn't a living soul in the place. They got
a number to call on the wall by the phone, but I put
in my money and there's no dial tone. I got hot.
was the turning point of my life. Here I
was, you know how I get. I'm thinkin' 'Smash them
windows,' and 'Yeah, pull a couple washers outa there,
put 'em through the windows,' and I don't know why,
all of a sudden I'm thinking glue.
wasn't into the advanced expoxies then, so it was
pretty primitive stuff. Crazy Glue. But I had a lotta
them little tubes for some reason. So. I go home, come
back, and glue the place down. Glue it down.
"I glue pennies in the coin slots.
I glue the dryer doors shut. And I glue the telephone to the hook.
I glue magazines to the chairs. On my way out, I'm thinkin' prevention.
So I glue the doors shut. Bam. Done.
go back Monday, to check it out. I can see the guy
going crazy trying to figure out what is goin' on. I
hit him on a Saturday. He was out of business for
three days. He got me for $1.50. I got him for two
away I know, this is the way to go, glue
the bureaucracy! Yeah. You're just
another soul lost in the bureaucracy, and you've got
that perfect poor-soul protective coloration --
wheelchairs, hearin' aids, guide dogs. Yeah!
person can conceal tubes of Superglue easy, do it
nonchalant. You don't get caught with your finger on
the trigger. In and out is the thing.
"Me, I'd go for the tour, reconnoiter
the classic weak spots communications and transport. Come back
for a quick one-man hit, glue down the computers and phones, ba-bam.
Glue the elevator and the revolving doors on the way out. Bam. You're
don't do the obvious. On telephones, you
don't glue handsets. Glue the junction where it goes
into the wall. Hit one reception station like that,
they're out for days. Pop that little junction box,
squirt it full, they can't just go plug in another
phone, they gotta go into the wall. Fax machine the
same. Machines they can replace. You gotta drive them
into the wall. Go for plugs and boxes. Ba-bam.
way with computers. Don't glue the keyboard, do the
hard drive. Glue a floppy or a CD-ROM, slap it in the
drive, quick and deadly.
the elevators, I've done this one. Get the car to
yourself, use the clear epoxy, push down the touch
buttons, squirt it under the edges there. They won't
stick down right away, but maybe for the next guy
comin' through they will.
"Bam. You're in and you're out in
gotta have your recon. Reconnaissance is vital. You do
good recon, stage the hit right, you could get six people in and out
let's say a nursing home top guy's office in ninety
seconds tops. Hit 'em, bam, be out before they know what's goin' down.
Don't take the time to reload. Drop the empty gun, grab your full
"Glue their paperwork. They can't
function without paper. For a covert action, two people pour a gallon
of glue into the files, epoxy the slider mechanisms. Ba-bam. Two minutes
We're not talking Elmer's here, none of
that water-base crap. We're talking industrial-grade
epoxy they build houses with."
I mean, you could glue 'em to their
desks, but you don't wanna be holdin' the people down 'til the glue
sets. That's physical force. That's violence. I do not hold with violence,
like I said.
"You don't wanna glue people inside
their cars but you can glue them out, glue their door locks, in the
parking lot. Or glue the tires to the asphalt, get the right epoxy.
I'd have to research that. I like that bar cement shoemakers use.
They glue soles on shoes with that stuff. Ba-bam.
"When they got air
horns, glue 'em open. [laughs] Same with door
buzzer systems. Oo! And when you spot a
[circuit] breaker box, open it up and glue
that sucker. Ba-bam.
"Surveillance cameras? You gotta
have your recon. Work out how to get up behind 'em, reach around,
slap some glue on that lens. Hit 'em on your way in. Use their technology
against them, and they must fall.
wanna talk to a Senator? Glue yourself in
his office, glue both of youze in. Say, 'I'm here and
you're gonna listen, bub.' What's he gonna do, call
security and say he's a glue hostage? [laughs]
He don' wanna play that kind of a fool.
you go on the Internet and declare yourself a Glue
Down DC Day. Say, 'Bring your own glue and glue it to
it.' [laughs] I like that one.
gotta use good glue protocol so you don't glue
yourself to the wall or security goons will
be careful out there. And glue it to