Consumer Report:
A new, nonviolent method of making the system rue the day it first laid hands on you
Cartoon showing a businessman glued to his desk, his desk chair, and the floor under it. He's trapped.
Glue Justice
"You wanna change the world? Do it with glue. " -- Frankie G.
[An interview with New York's Frankie G, underground activist, by Mouth's editor.]
Frankie G is a hook-nosed, olive-skinned, wire-haired Sicilian, and he's big. Menacing, you might say. You'd never think, to look at him, that Frankie G is a missionary for nonviolence.
"The IRA and the PLO?" he says, "They're usin' the wrong ordnance. You wanna change the world? Do it with glue.
"Violence is cheap, man. Any fool can get a gun and go blow away a bunch of people. Kids are even doin' it now.
"Glue, though, it's nonviolent and it makes 'em think." He calls glue justice "everyman's alternative to goin' postal." Although he no longer conducts glue raids himself ("I'm more into the R & D end of things now") Frankie believes that glue could be a natural, nonviolent weapon in our battle for disability rights.
"Industrial sabotage. Do it to the whole damn disability industry. Glue it down."
How did Frankie discover the power of glue justice?
"It was that crappy laundromat up on Park Ave. In there one night late, puttin' in my wash, put in my money and it don't run and won't give my money back.
"You know how it goes. You got your detergent in already and you gotta lift out your clothes, and the powder gets all over. So I did that deal and got a different machine. Meeng-gia! [an Italian profanity] Same story. And all the money I had was that dollar fifty right there, I was livin' on SSI at the time. And there wasn't a living soul in the place. They got a number to call on the wall by the phone, but I put in my money and there's no dial tone. I got hot.
"This was the turning point of my life. Here I was, you know how I get. I'm thinkin' 'Smash them windows,' and 'Yeah, pull a couple washers outa there, put 'em through the windows,' and I don't know why, all of a sudden I'm thinking glue.
"I wasn't into the advanced expoxies then, so it was pretty primitive stuff. Crazy Glue. But I had a lotta them little tubes for some reason. So. I go home, come back, and glue the place down. Glue it down.
"I glue pennies in the coin slots. I glue the dryer doors shut. And I glue the telephone to the hook. I glue magazines to the chairs. On my way out, I'm thinkin' prevention. So I glue the doors shut. Bam. Done.
"I go back Monday, to check it out. I can see the guy going crazy trying to figure out what is goin' on. I hit him on a Saturday. He was out of business for three days. He got me for $1.50. I got him for two thou.
"Right away I know, this is the way to go, glue justice."
Frankie has since researched glue weaponry and developed what he calls "the tactical and strategic principles of glue warfare." I asked him to come up with a scenario using glue justice to sabotage the 'helping' systems. Immediately, his dark eyes lit up.
"Glue the bureaucracy! Yeah. You're just another soul lost in the bureaucracy, and you've got that perfect poor-soul protective coloration -- wheelchairs, hearin' aids, guide dogs. Yeah!
"One person can conceal tubes of Superglue easy, do it nonchalant. You don't get caught with your finger on the trigger. In and out is the thing.
"Me, I'd go for the tour, reconnoiter the classic weak spots — communications and transport. Come back for a quick one-man hit, glue down the computers and phones, ba-bam. Glue the elevator and the revolving doors on the way out. Bam. You're outta there.
"You don't do the obvious. On telephones, you don't glue handsets. Glue the junction where it goes into the wall. Hit one reception station like that, they're out for days. Pop that little junction box, squirt it full, they can't just go plug in another phone, they gotta go into the wall. Fax machine the same. Machines they can replace. You gotta drive them into the wall. Go for plugs and boxes. Ba-bam.
"Same way with computers. Don't glue the keyboard, do the hard drive. Glue a floppy or a CD-ROM, slap it in the drive, quick and deadly.
"On the elevators, I've done this one. Get the car to yourself, use the clear epoxy, push down the touch buttons, squirt it under the edges there. They won't stick down right away, but maybe for the next guy comin' through they will.
"Bam. You're in and you're out in one minute.
"You gotta have your recon. Reconnaissance is vital. You do good recon, stage the hit right, you could get six people in and out — let's say a nursing home top guy's office — in ninety seconds tops. Hit 'em, bam, be out before they know what's goin' down. Don't take the time to reload. Drop the empty gun, grab your full one.
"Glue their paperwork. They can't function without paper. For a covert action, two people pour a gallon of glue into the files, epoxy the slider mechanisms. Ba-bam. Two minutes tops.
"Remember. We're not talking Elmer's here, none of that water-base crap. We're talking industrial-grade epoxy they build houses with."
I mean, you could glue 'em to their desks, but you don't wanna be holdin' the people down 'til the glue sets. That's physical force. That's violence. I do not hold with violence, like I said.
"You don't wanna glue people inside their cars but you can glue them out, glue their door locks, in the parking lot. Or glue the tires to the asphalt, get the right epoxy. I'd have to research that. I like that bar cement shoemakers use. They glue soles on shoes with that stuff. Ba-bam.
"When they got air horns, glue 'em open. [laughs] Same with door buzzer systems. Oo! And when you spot a [circuit] breaker box, open it up and glue that sucker. Ba-bam.
"Surveillance cameras? You gotta have your recon. Work out how to get up behind 'em, reach around, slap some glue on that lens. Hit 'em on your way in. Use their technology against them, and they must fall.
"You wanna talk to a Senator? Glue yourself in his office, glue both of youze in. Say, 'I'm here and you're gonna listen, bub.' What's he gonna do, call security and say he's a glue hostage? [laughs] He don' wanna play that kind of a fool.
"Say you go on the Internet and declare yourself a Glue Down DC Day. Say, 'Bring your own glue and glue it to it.' [laughs] I like that one.
"You gotta use good glue protocol so you don't glue yourself to the wall or security goons will getcha.
"So be careful out there. And glue it to it."
This article appeared in Mouth #47, Justice Revisited, in May 1998.
The illustration is by Scott Chambers.
We wish we had a photo of Frankie G, but he wishes to remain anonymous.