Flocking with
the Fundsuckers

from Mouth magazine,
July 1998

A Guide to Joining the Flock of Long-Term Care Planners in Your State


by Jennifer Burnett and Josie Byzek


illustrated by Scott Chambers from observations of live specimens in the field


Somewhere in the 50 states at this very moment, there's a meeting going on in the name of Long Term Care Reform. As baby boomers age, state budgeteers feel the start of what they know will be a very long squeeze. Suddenly the hot topic in state capitals is long term care reform.



A burden? Honestly, I never
think of them that way...

A large wealthy fundsucker is carried, above street level,
by two of his servants. Both use wheelchairs,
so their job is a little tougher.


 Just what you need -- another meeting.
a bureaucrat fundsucker bird perches on her notes
And wait'll you see these birds


States seem to have come to the conclusion that yes, the system may actually be broken. They begin to think that perhaps taxpayers pay too much for professional "care" for "the disabled." And so they convene a meeting of "stakeholders" to look at alternatives to the warehousing of citizens at today's skyrocketing rates.

You are certainly a "stakeholder." You should be invited. If you can't wangle an invitation, by all means show up. You're entitled to be at the table. Our community must have a presence. This is our long-lost chance to sort out the mess long term care has become.

Since fundsuckers can smell change in the wind, they are flocking to protect their fiscal sources. Their habit of flock-sucking, unpleasant though it is, makes it even more important for you to be there when they try it.

Important to remember: The driving force behind long term care reform is not, repeat not, the quality of your life. It's about keeping the state budget in bounds.

While the noisy flockers who land at these meetings express the usual sentiments about people like us, they do not, repeat not, mean well. Here's how to survive a series of flock-suckings and make your presence count.


How to Triumph over a noisy flock | A Field Guide to Long-Term Fundsuckers


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*Scott Chambers, cartoonist and visionary, may be reached via email at cal@mouthmag.com. Mouth bought the rights to use these cartoons first, but Scott holds the copyright to them. For reprint permissions on the cartoons, address him directly. Mouth holds the copyright, ©1998, on the article. Although Mouth invented the term fundsucker, we are delighted to see the term in wide use. To see the original fundsuckers, click here.