Notes from
Mouth #58
March 2000


The cover of the March Mouth shows a completely doofless looking dude grinning a lying grin. The headline says, "I was only trying to HELP."

Cartoon of a bureaucrat nervously eyeing the approach of a shark fin across his desktop. The fin is labeled Olmstead.

A four-panel cartoon with the title Operation Bootstrap. We see a fellow looking optimistic, standing in tall boots with pullup handles. In the second panel he tries for all he's worth to pull himself up by them. Next we see him freaked out, falling over backwards. Finally, he's out cold on the floor, having pulled himself up by his own bootstraps.







You're drowning in it.
Hard to believe, but a multi-billion-dollar system has been set up with the express purpose of helping people like you. At any given moment of any working day, armies of top-flight experts are hard at work in high-level meetings to determine exactly what you need and how to get it to you efficiently.
So. How come you still can't get on the bus?

Contents of this online sample of our Contaminated Help issue:

Mouth #58 also features articles by Mary Ulrich, Deirdre Hammon, Dave Hingsburger, Bruce F. Triggs, Larry Biondi, Judi Chamberlin, and another one by Michael Bailey. Not to mention pages of Scott Chambers' cartoons.

Why settle for a stingy sample when you can have the whole issue in your hands? Mouth #58 is 48 pages long, what with all the news, the resources, and funny bits. Note: the only ad in the whole magazine is an advertisement for dignity. Nobody paid us to put it in, either.

To get your copy, send $6 to Mouth, PO Box 558, Topeka, Kansas 66601-0558 and specify #58. Or buy it from our online Attitude Catalog.

It's also possible to subscribe online.

Scott Chambers, cartoonist and visionary, drew the classics above. He can be reached via email at Mouth bought the rights to use these cartoons first, but Scott holds the copyright to it. For reprint permissions, address him directly.